The Dating Kitchen: One At A Time or Full Course ?
Written By Njai Joszor | Posted on 07/10/09
Dating one person at a time might have been acceptable years ago but with today's limited dating pool, the prospect of dating on a one-to-one basis is near impossible!
"Dating one man at a time can be not only a setup for severe disappointment but also a waste of precious child-bearing years, quarter and midlife crisis time, even your retirement," says New York Times Best Selling Author Karrine Steffans.
Now before you jump and say how dare a woman who was once called "Superhead" give advice, think about what she said for a minute.
The days of dating one man or woman at a time are gone, especially since quality, educated, employed and 'sane' people are hard to find. Now it is true that there is a double standard when it comes to men, women and dating. Often it is the woman who is deemed a slut, whore or worse, when she is found to be dating Marcus, William and Hakeem (for example). When in actuality she is exercising her options -- as she should.
In Steffans' soon-to-be released book The Vixen Diaries, Steffans says "Do not let the fear of being labeled keep you from making the best decisions for yourself. If that includes dating multiple partners, then do so with confidence, unmoved by the unwarranted scrutiny that may come your way."
But what about the looks and comments from friends and family ?
R&B singer and American Idol winner Fantasia put it best on 2006s "Fantasia" when she sang "Bump What Your Friends Say".
The truth is that, this is your life, emphasis on "your". Like Fantasia said "if I'd have listened to my family, I would probably down, out and lonely". Follow your heart and if it requires taking Marcus, William and Hakeem's number so be it. The art of creating competition is just like the complexities of supply and demand. If no one wants it, the product gets pushed to the side like Bow Wow's ill fated "New Jack City Vol.1".
All jokes about Bow Wow, who had his own alleged history with Steffans, aside, Steffans backs the aforementioned point up in 'The Vixen Diaries', stating:
"Men love a challenge. They love the thrill of winning and being proven better than any other man." Therefore, give him a chance to chase and ultimately you'll find out exactly what he is truly about. If he fights for you, figuratively, with intelligence to boot, then he could be a winner. If he backs off or worse yet, resorts to the childish name calling (whore, slut, trollop, etc) then you don't want him anyway!
When it comes to dating, how many prospects would you date at a time ?
I'm telling ya'll woman now coming from one herself.YOU SHOULD NOT EVER NEVER EVER LISTEN TO SOMEONE LIKE HER.She got her nickname for a reason.Yeah Yeah people will come up with names for you but would if a good guy wanted to ask you out and then his dudes tell him aw she seeing Hakeem,Ray, and Bryan.He's gonna think nah I don't want no smut.See thats exactly why women end up with the wrong man.Quit spreading ya'll selves so much, see woman who take this advice are setting themselves up for failure.But I don't who came up with this stupid s*** PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DATING MULTIPLE PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME SINCE THE 80'S SO QUIT WITH THESE DUMB ASS POST LIKE THIS SHIT IS NEW.THIS IS EXACTLY WHY BLACK WOMEN LIKE ME WILL NEVER SUCCEED BECAUSE YA'LL GIVE WHORES AND SLUTS ALL THE RECOGNITION.
THIS WHOLE POST AND EVERYTHING SAID IN IT IS AN ALL TIME LOW FOR BLACK PEOPLE.NO WONDER WE LOSING THE GOOD BROTHAS TO WHITE WOMAN. DON'T LISTEN TO A SKANK.
THIS LADY ALMOST FOOLED ME. . . "pick your top five and no sex"(on the today show).... however the author is 30yrs old, 2 sons (meaning no daughter experience) and still dating???? She cant even take her own advise- what kind of person is that--someone who is not conerned about YOU!!
I would date 3 men at a time. Maybe i will have a better chance at finding what i desire. To me dating is like playin the lotto!!
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